We have exactly one month until we arrive in Kona. It's been go-go-go since we made the decision to join YWAM, back in mid-December, and I haven't taken much time to process. My next thought has constantly been the next step.
//// This post is unorganized and scattered and full of horizons and people-- I tried to fix it a few times, but gave up. It fits where we're at right now.
Spare seconds have held endless coffee dates and family dinners and hikes; attempts to soak up time with loved people and places as much as possible.
We've also been fundraising and planning events to make this adventure happen, which has kept us busy.
Ryan got his own camera, and has been creating really amazing images whenever he can. It's been so exciting to collaborate with him!
Last weekend we had a rare moment of stillness at home. Our tiny cottage was clean-ish, emails had been sent, photos edited. We sort of looked at each other and where like, "Welp. I guess we're leaving soon."
We started talking about how this all came up. Looking back, we can see how God orchestrated each event so perfectly to make it possible.
I was scrolling through a photographer's site admiring her images. I went to the 'about' section of her page and it said that she had completed the PhotogenX DTS. I don't even remember this photographer's name, but I clicked the link, and got pretty excited. I mean like really excited. Photography, humanitarian work, and a community built on Christ. It snagged me quick.
There were a lot of things that felt like anchors and roadblocks. We have good jobs, an incredible community, and all our family here. Then there's the pricetag of not having an income for six months. At the time, Ryan was content with staying here and putting down roots.
I prayed so hard that I would find contentment, or that God would do something with my restlessness. Nothing changed for two months.
One day, Ryan came home from work and I could tell something was wrong. He told me he wasn't content, he was scared. The only thing keeping him here was fear of the unknown. This realization freed us up a few inches.
Then a week before Christmas, I was struck with it really hard that we were supposed to go. It felt out of the blue-- I had surrendered to stay put if that was what God had for us.
Within two weeks, we had signed over our lease and moved into a tiny cottage where we've been able to live for free and save up.
A week after moving in to the little place, we left to visit family in Florida. I felt kind of guilty about it, even though tickets had been bought months ago. Raising money for YWAM and going to a vacation-y place felt weird. But we ended up leaving the airport with a $1000 voucher! The list of things like this happening has become endless over the last few months.
And then there's the endless support of our families and friends. This season has been one of receiving, and that's so hard. I want desperately to earn the good things that have been given to us, or at least repay for them, but we can't. It's been a humbling image of grace. We are over halfway funded, and that in itself is a miracle, considering how late in the game we started!
I'm feeling overwhelmed. With gratitude, with love for this place and our community here, and for this crazy adventure we've been called to go on. It's already made us grow in innumerable ways.
See you soon, Kailua Kona!