This was a hard week. It felt like there were two different realities playing. In one, we were being inspired and just itching to go out and create beautiful things. It was joyful, exciting, and personal. During lecture we learned from the best how to make God our art director. Because yes, He does care about colors and angles (He made all those things, after all).
In the other reality, our faith was being battered on the rocks. We started the week $4,000 short of what we need for our fast approaching Amazon outreach. There were visa complications, deep emotions, sleep deprivation, and a lack of patience. Plus, it was hot. I mean like drenching your sheets sort of hot (good practice for coming months).
One day after class, I had kind of had it. I’m not the sort to show it really obviously, but inside it was pretty messy. All sorts of doubts and insecurities were all pent up.
There’s a place near campus where the waves crash super dramatically against age-old lava rocks. I love the noise and wildness of it, and so I went there to give God a piece of my mind. The surf was so big, so overwhelming. I was distracted by it and didn’t know where to begin, so I started to write down character traits of the ocean.
Powerful, surrounding, strong, all-encompassing, relentless, reflecting, life-giving, crashing.
It covers, carries, reaches, sculpts, pulls, throws, and never stops.
I tucked my journal away just in time before a wave soaked me. It was so obvious in that second.The list I wrote wasn’t about the sea, it was describing the one who made all seas. The ocean is a visible, tangible image of God’s love for us.
And then, I went and jumped in it.
Our week was better after that day. More peaceful.
We reflected on the last two months, ate ice cream, sweated, gave thanks, sweated some more, and experienced the sort of generosity that makes your knees hit the floor and your face swell up. God only knows what miracles we will experience and write about next week.
Faith is a funny thing. Some days it seems impossible to have, others impossible to deny. More and more, it's the latter for me.